Where's the Cape?

These are the kinds of mornings that I really would just love to don a large red cape with a large, bold, yellow  “S” in the middle and wear it the rest of the day everywhere I go. It would make me feel recognized for outstanding achievement as a wife, mother, grandmother, and responsible pet owner.

The dog started showing signs of something not right on Thursday but not until Saturday—when all the vet offices are closed and a trip to the UC Davis Emergency Room would begin at $300—did I notice her having trouble sitting. So on Monday morning at 8:45 I was packing her into the back of the SUV to head out to Dr. Timm’s because they returned my call from the message I left on Sunday saying yes, they could squeeze her in if I came right away.

Before that, though, I got a call from the Carpet Cleaners that they had a cancellation and could actually clean my carpets at 10:30 a.m. if I would like. Of course, I would like. I have been stalking the weatherman for a month now waiting for a break in the rain as I knew it would take days to dry out the carpet if I had them cleaned without sunshine. Unless, of course, I didn’t mind paying a $400 electric bill because then I could crank up the heating and leave all our ceiling fans on until it all dried. With family coming for my son’s upcoming wedding, I absolutely had to turn the carpet back to beige—it presently looked matted-down brown.

And that call came after my daughter came by the house with a carload of pillows because I needed to give them to a friend who is helping me sew some throw pillows for my future-daughter-in-law’s plans for the upcoming wedding reception that is now only 10 days away. After we squished umpteen throw pillows into my car and all around the dog crate that I just managed to get in there also, she asked me if it would be possible for me to please drop off a sweatshirt for my granddaughter because she thought there was a spare one at the school but there wasn’t and she didn’t have one, so I said I’d try.

And that call came after my second night in a row of no sleep—the first because my husband said I was snoring so I slept in a half-state of fear I would do something so mortifying again and the second night because I slept downstairs to be sure I wouldn’t wake him again but it was absolutely freezing and I had to get up to go potty every few hours. So, needless to say, I pulled myself out of bed feeling like a zombie but knowing I had to get my son to school. When I angrily snapped at him for something very trivial he pointed it out and I apologized so he mocked me saying that he was “tired” also so therefore he shouldn’t be held accountable for snapping at people either.

During this whole time, I was in severe pain from a major headache as I had stupidly taken a diet pill convinced that there was no other avenue to lose some weight so I would fit into the beautiful dress I had bought to wear at my son’s wedding despite that I rarely take any medications and strive to eat organic, whole foods because I’ve determined my body is hypersensitive to anything else.  The change in water level in my frame obviously affected the level of fluid around my brain because my head felt like it it was being squeezed by a vice at my temples and at the top of my head. At the time, though, I forgot about the diet pill and simply surmised it was because my head was frozen since that was the only part of my body kept out of the nine blankets over me in the spare bedroom which is downstairs where the heat does not rise…

So when I got my son to school on time, when I got the dog to the vet early like they asked to not set off their day’s schedule of appointments and she got medication, when I drove by my granddaughter’s preschool and dropped off her little pink sweatshirt, when I got back home in perfect time to move all the furniture out of the living areas and the carpet cleaner got there with a smile, and when I was able to get out to the coffee shop because there was no other place to go when your house is getting shampooed, I felt myself breathe for the first time--and as I sipped this delicious coffee, I felt I really should have a cape.